Rough Road

This new challenge has been a rough road!

Since I was the one who organized the new challenge, I thought about delaying the start because even then I knew I wasn't feeling it. But I decided to move ahead because.....well mainly because life keeps moving on whether I'm feeling it or not.

The thing is that that when this challenge began, I still had 2 weeks left to work my second job and every day was a huge struggle. I ended up in that old familiar head space....giving myself permission to make bad food decisions because I was so frustrated! I didn't feel like I had any control over my life. I wanted to walk out of that 2nd job and never go back SO BAD.... but I couldn't. I had to be good to my word and follow through to the end. What does it say about me that when life presents me with a situation out of my control....I eat whatever I want to make myself feel better. Crazy thing is it makes me feels like crap and I keep eating it anyway. Clearly this is not going to get unpacked in one short blog entry but just as clearly, if I'm ever going to be truly healthy, I need to figure out how to be healthy even when I feel trapped by a life circumstance.

Thankfully, today felt like a new day. I had a clear and focused mind for the first time in weeks. I left work, came straight home, had a snack and hopped on the elliptical. Stayed on the elliptical for 45 minutes and then did a few minutes on the spin bike. It felt great! I want to get a spin workout on dvd. I know it will be hard but it will be a huge help once I'm out riding on the road.

It was a really good day!